As Ryan Braun articulately espoused in his press conference last night, a series of dipshit decisions and mistakes led to the first ever exoneration of a baseball player who tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. If you've stumbled across this blog you probably don't need to be reminded of the details of the case, so I'm not going to get in to it.
Dashboard Confessional's confusing tribute to Ryan Braun
I also want to say that I'm not so insanely adhered to one team that the fact that Braun is a Brewer is going to skew my opinions one way or another. None of that matters, and if this were happening to Starlin Castro or Matt Holliday I'd be relieved too. The baseless condemnation of any player is bad for baseball. The fact of the matter is, some very weird shit happened to Ryan Braun's sample. There will never be 100% proof that Braun is innocent, except within the brain of Braun himself, but it takes a huge lapse in logic to be satisfied with the notion of his guilt. No matter what, he's back, and if his press conference said anything to me at all, it's that he's ready to absolutely kill it again this year.
Step One: Go to the game, or go to a bar to watch the game.
Step Two: Wait until Ryan Braun steps to the plate.
Step Three: Respond impulsively.
If your immediate instinct is to boo or scream out something about juicing or cheating, or god forbid something more extreme, then you should go home and go to bed. The test is done, the system worked and Braun is innocent. Even David Freese, who spent is entire offseason living on a diet of the crushed souls of Brewers' fans said that he was relieved for Braun and excited to see him exonerated. You can do this too, just think for a second. If you can't do that, I have only one message for you.