Saturday, February 25, 2012


I tried to come up with some dignified sounding introductory sentence to this post but it's not happening, so I'm just going to be inflammatory. This fucking rules.

As Ryan Braun articulately espoused in his press conference last night, a series of dipshit decisions and mistakes led to the first ever exoneration of a baseball player who tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. If you've stumbled across this blog you probably don't need to be reminded of the details of the case, so I'm not going to get in to it.

Dashboard Confessional's confusing tribute to Ryan Braun

I also want to say that I'm not so insanely adhered to one team that the fact that Braun is a Brewer is going to skew my opinions one way or another. None of that matters, and if this were happening to Starlin Castro or Matt Holliday I'd be relieved too. The baseless condemnation of any player is bad for baseball. The fact of the matter is, some very weird shit happened to Ryan Braun's sample. There will never be 100% proof that Braun is innocent, except within the brain of Braun himself, but it takes a huge lapse in logic to be satisfied with the notion of his guilt. No matter what, he's back, and if his press conference said anything to me at all, it's that he's ready to absolutely kill it again this year.
I want to keep this short so I'm just going to say one last thing about it. If you've ever wondered to yourself "Hey, am I an idiot when it comes to baseball?" here's a good opportunity for you to figure it out.

Step One: Go to the game, or go to a bar to watch the game.
Step Two: Wait until Ryan Braun steps to the plate.
Step Three: Respond impulsively.

If your immediate instinct is to boo or scream out something about juicing or cheating, or god forbid something more extreme, then you should go home and go to bed. The test is done, the system worked and Braun is innocent. Even David Freese, who spent is entire offseason living on a diet of the crushed souls of Brewers' fans said that he was relieved for Braun and excited to see him exonerated. You can do this too, just think for a second. If you can't do that, I have only one message for you.

Peace out!

1 comment:

  1. As you may already know, Braun actually signed a contract saying that he had witnessed his pee being zipped up in a tamper-proof container after he gave the sample. Also, it apparently was proper protocol to store the pee in a cool place if it could not be delivered immediately. There was never a claim that the tamper-proof seal had been broken, so I don't really see how the lawyers convinced the arbitrator to rule in Braun's favor. Even if he didn't, there are still other problems... Why has nothing been made of the fact that he hid his medication from MLB? I love to see justice just as much as the next man, but it's impossible for me to feel anything about this until the holes in this case have been filled.